In today’s episode, we’re sounding the school bell and bringing listeners back into our ‘School of Love.’ This show focuses on motivating emotional withdrawers to be more open. If you’re the pursuing partner you may find yourself screaming with excitement right now, withdrawers…not so much. Which is completely okay!
Join our experts George and Laurie today as we make space for the withdrawing partner to: identify your protective move, understand why you do what you do, honor that protection and try something new. We get it, taking the risk to share emotion and let your partner in is tough stuff but we also know first hand the amazing change that can take place in relationships when the withdrawing partner is able to take this step.
Make sure you grab your notebooks and pencils, our hosts drop great insight that you won’t want to miss. Need a little more support? There is still time to sign up for our virtual couples retreat on October 4th. Head to www.foreplayrst.com for more details.
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Transcript
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Disclaimer [00:01:50]:
The following content is not suitable for children.
Laurie Watson [00:01:52]:
Welcome to the School of Love.
George Faller [00:01:54]:
Let’s do it. Our chance to break down the therapy process so you can do it at home without a therapist.
Laurie Watson [00:02:02]:
Okay, we’re in our School of Love and we’re talking about how, if you are a withdrawer, an emotional withdrawer today, how do you get yourself motivated to really share yourself, to share your vulnerability? George, you’re going to have to help us here, given that your native state here might give us a little bit of insight.
George Faller [00:02:22]:
I’m a recovering withdrawer trying to live vicariously through all my clients and my own experiences.
Laurie Watson [00:02:33]:
Welcome to Foreplay sex therapy. I’m Dr. Lori Watson, your sex therapist.
George Faller [00:02:38]:
And I’m George Fowler, your couples therapist.
Laurie Watson [00:02:40]:
We Are here to talk about sex.
George Faller [00:02:42]:
Our mission is to help couples talk about sex in ways that incorporate their body, their mind, and their hearts.
Laurie Watson [00:02:50]:
And we have a little bit of fun doing it Right, G listen and.
George Faller [00:02:54]:
Let’S change some relationships.
Laurie Watson [00:02:56]:
Remember our October retreat on October 4th, sign up on our website and we’re going to have a whole day talking about sex.
George Faller [00:03:05]:
And when’s on Nashville? Won the trained therapist. That’s going to be a fun one.
Laurie Watson [00:03:09]:
Yeah, that’s. We’ve already got lots of signups. Somebody just brought eight people from her practice.
George Faller [00:03:14]:
Oh, that’s going to be January 23rd and 24th. Cool. Well, let’s ground where we are in the process. Because in a school of love, we spent all this time trying to understand attachment, trying to understand emotions, trying to understand negative cycles and the sexual and emotional. How do you get people to start working together, to start uniting, to start taking some of the power out of those vicious cycles? Right. Now that things are calmed down a bit, we really sets the stage, what an EFT would call stage two. But that’s really about trying to create the new moves. We actually have to create a limbic revision.
George Faller [00:03:51]:
We got to get people who are experiencing emotion and protect themselves in a certain way, which Aurora is by going away, to really have success with what those feelings are underneath the threat. The ouch. Right. You can’t talk them into it. Their bodies actually have to experience a new move. The power of what connection can do in these places of threat.
Laurie Watson [00:04:13]:
Okay, so help me. What’s a limbic revision?
George Faller [00:04:16]:
A limbic revision is like, if you criticize me and that hurts.
Laurie Watson [00:04:22]:
Never hurt.
George Faller [00:04:23]:
I’ve learned to deal with that hurt by going away, like, whatever, I’m not going to listen to you. My body has learned that when that threat limbically gets. My brain feels the threat of criticism. It has an action tendency and it protects itself by going away. Yeah, right. What I need to actually get with drawers to do is when that threat comes, they got to learn to resist the action tendency to leave and to actually linger in the threat and to kind of start talking about what they fear is what the vulnerability is. That’s the new move. That’s what they normally don’t do.
George Faller [00:04:56]:
And the beautiful thing is in the vulnerability is the solution. Right. There’s the need and the threat, which is what we’re going to start trying to tap into. But the first step is to really just start to tune in and listen to your own physiological signals and withdrawers. They often are going to get messages that they. You Know they’re failing, they don’t know what to do. They feel helpless, they’re not good enough and they can’t talk about those feelings. Right.
George Faller [00:05:21]:
They just leave.
Laurie Watson [00:05:24]:
So the first step, if you’re traditionally an emotional withdrawer, is know your body. Like when you’re under threat, what does your body do? And then you got to do the opposite. That’s my husband, a withdrawer. He says, as long as I do the opposite thing of what I want to do, it all works out great. You know, I do the thing that doesn’t make any sense at all to me and we are good.
George Faller [00:05:48]:
Well, I do, I do. Let backtrack a second because I do think it’s critical with withdrawers. Connect with them first. The easiest way to connect is to honor the health and how they protect themselves. Right. They go away because they’re trying to self regulate, they’re trying to deal with that hurt. And the only way they’ve had success, which is to pull away from it. So there’s safety in space, there’s safety and putting up walls to keep out negative things.
George Faller [00:06:13]:
They’re not doing it to be a jerk. They’re doing it because that’s what all they know to do to feel safe. Right? So even as your husband says, yeah, I got to do the opposite. Well, there’s a good reason. He’s learned to do what he’s done. And if you could connect with that first and honor that and say, hey, listen, I know you’re going away is what you do to feel safe. It has nothing to do with wanting to reject me. I just want you to get help with what is actually happening inside of you.
George Faller [00:06:39]:
We’re trying to slow down that and capture that moment, what is happening right before you walk away. You wouldn’t be walking away if something wasn’t happening. And it’s that something that they never talk about. It’s. That something is what we’re calling the vulnerability. That’s the place we’re trying to get them to stay a little bit longer so they can find their words because that is where they’re going to get the limbic revision. They’re going to train their body that there’s a better way of dealing with this threat than just leaving.
Laurie Watson [00:07:06]:
I think this is what’s so powerful about our way of working and what we want people to experience out there even without therapy. Right. Is once you have an experience that is different than your native protection strategy and it’s successful, it’s like your, your body says, okay, this is a Better way. You don’t even have to understand it. You don’t have to think about it all the time. You, you, you want. It’s like truly a bit like riding a bike. When you’re successful with your partner, they respond to you doing something that you wouldn’t normally do.
Laurie Watson [00:07:41]:
You know, you feel something different. There’s something better in your body than that. You know, even that way of keeping yourself calm. Because getting and keeping connection maybe is even more powerful than just being calm.
George Faller [00:07:56]:
Exactly.
Laurie Watson [00:07:57]:
I want to say one thing. You know, you said, yeah, you know, you got to give these people success. And I was thinking, yeah, you know, my husband doing the opposite thing. It’s like, I know his family. You know, I know exactly why he protected himself that way. I knew his parents. And, you know, I, I get it. And I, I think that that compassion for your partner is also really helpful.
George Faller [00:08:20]:
Yeah. Well, it’s part of the setup. They’re blamed for not knowing their feelings, and yet they’ve been trained to focus on the external, on the performance, on other people. Right. It’s like, if you’re criticizing me, my brain says, well, what do you want? What do I need to do differently so you will feel better and stop criticizing me? I’m not really thinking about me. I’m thinking about what I need to do differently. Right. With Drawers are performers.
George Faller [00:08:45]:
They’re producers, Right. They’re constantly looking through acts and what they’re supposed to do. Right. If you’re scanning your environment for what you need to do differently, you’re not really looking inward. And that really is the key to withdrawal reengagement, is getting them to look inward to see the value of listening to their own inner experience. Right. For a lot of withdrawals, they just haven’t had a lot of practice. And the sad part is every time that they have a feeling and they walk away, they never have success with that emotion.
George Faller [00:09:15]:
They continue to tune it out. It gets harder and harder to find your words.
Laurie Watson [00:09:20]:
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Laurie Watson [00:12:18]:
Prescriptions are required. Restrictions apply. Wegovy and Ozempic are not compounded. Also, I have a question for you. The withdrawal reengagement. I think that As a pursuer, you also fantasize that it’s not just in conflict, that they don’t go away, but that they come towards you. You know, that they’re curious, that they ask you questions now that there’s. They’re interested.
Laurie Watson [00:12:41]:
Like, I had this guy, and I felt so sorry for his wife. He said, you know, I really do not want to know the details of her day. I don’t. It bores me. I just. I don’t have any patience for that. And I was like, ooh, you know, when you get reengaged, are you gonna be curious about that?
George Faller [00:13:03]:
Yeah, because you learn to shift channels and you start to get curious about the emotion that’s driving it. What is it that she’s looking for in sharing what seems like the mundane details of the day that you’re not interested. And when you recognize that’s just her bid to connect, you just do it differently. It gets easier to be open to that bit. But if you don’t know your own inner world, it’s hard to recognize the inner world of others.
Laurie Watson [00:13:29]:
Yeah, yeah, that’s true.
George Faller [00:13:31]:
You know, and unfortunately, so many withdrawers really receive love conditionally. They’re loved when they get it right, and they perform and they make their partner happy. And the moment their partner’s not happy with them, and that’s their moment of greatest need. Right? It’s when they’re getting the signal they’re failing, yet they don’t know how to put words to that, and they survive by going away. So they never have success when they need love the most. Just think about that. Allow. I hope our listeners are like, ouch, that hurts.
George Faller [00:13:59]:
Yeah. Imagine a kid, someone you love, that they only get love when they do it right, and when they do it wrong, they probably need love the most, and they never get it. And when they don’t get it, it’s going to get harder and harder over time to know what the heck to do with it. Somehow they’re supposed to know how to love their partner in places of pain and vulnerability when they never really receive love themselves. And that’s really not the way empathy works.
Laurie Watson [00:14:23]:
Okay, so I’m a withdrawer. Tell me what I. How do I do this? Like one. I have to just notice when I’m in conflict what my body feels, what. What would make me want to stay curious instead of sort of maybe compartmentalize life and things like that.
George Faller [00:14:44]:
Well, and that’s the key, is if you connect to the good reasons you’re protecting yourself, it makes you feel safer. But Then the second part is, I want to start challenging you or inviting you to see. Can you see the costs of your own move? Can you see the impact of constantly walking away from your own inner emotional world? To never listen to the signals, to never communicate the signals, which means you’re not going to receive love when you need it the most. And so many mature say, well, I’m fine. I’m so used to not getting, it’s no big deal. Well, that might be true because that’s the language you speak, but could you imagine somebody you love? I think about my sons, like, if they needed my help and they never got it, like, that would break my heart that they can get so used to life that people don’t show up for you in these places that you don’t even want them to show up. You’ve so resigned yourself that this is just the way it is, that you think this is the best life has to offer. The science is so clear.
George Faller [00:15:41]:
There’s a much better. The best way to deal with threat, anxiety, pain is in relationship. I mean, a baby cries, is looking to be picked up. That is the natural state to deal with negative emotions. And yet most withdrawals are always chronically alone with negative emotions. So I’m trying to get them to.
Laurie Watson [00:16:01]:
See that, yeah, they stay alone with negative emotions. And even though it feels safe, we’re asking them also look at what happens to your partner when you make those moves and the relationship, which in turn makes, you know, maybe the partnership less available to meet your needs and all of that. What’s the impact?
George Faller [00:16:23]:
Yeah, that’s what’s so inspiring. I’ve seen so many withdrawers and like, they desperately want to give their partner love and support in these places of pain. They look at you and say, just tell me what to do. Give me the seven steps of the book. And like. But they don’t recognize that what they’re asking is to really show up for your pain. That means I got to touch my own pain. That’s what empathy does.
George Faller [00:16:48]:
You got to join people. You got to be willing to feel it yourself. And. And because they don’t want to feel their own emotions, they’re set up to not know how to be there for their partner’s emotions. And then there’s another message of failure, another message. They come up short and then they go away to deal with that. And then the loop just continues.
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George Faller [00:18:30]:
All right, so we’re all getting a little depressed talking about the world to withdraw. And that’s a good thing, right? That means your nervous system is feeling into this world. So I might tell a withdrawal. Like, close your eyes for a second. Laura, you be my withdrawer, and I’m. It’s like these dominoes go off, and I just want you to feel into these, you know, each layer of this as it gets hit, you know, the first domino falls. All your work is to get it right. That’s what makes you feel safe.
George Faller [00:18:56]:
And yet here it comes again. The message that you failed, right? The very thing you’re trying to prevent, it’s back again. The thing you don’t want to hear like that does something to you. When you hear, hey, you’re late. You didn’t do this. You didn’t like it sets off this kind of system. Here comes the second dummy that. That hurt that you feel that threat that, like, oh, you’re in trouble.
George Faller [00:19:21]:
No one sees it. Nobody sees you need help. Nobody sees your threat because you’re so good at kind of keeping your face still or walking away. Nobody actually sees this moment. That’s a pretty big deal. Here comes the next domino because nobody sees it. Guess what? Nobody responds to it. You’re not going to get any help here.
George Faller [00:19:46]:
Here comes your next animal because you’re going to have no help. The only move you have is to try to get away from it, right? To put up a wall to walk away. That’s the only way to deal with this hurt is to distance yourself. There’s safety when you can get away from it or not make it worse if you stay engaged. So going away is that safe thing that you can do.
Laurie Watson [00:20:07]:
That’s a wave.
George Faller [00:20:08]:
That’s a wave.
Laurie Watson [00:20:09]:
Yes. I feel layer drown.
George Faller [00:20:12]:
Yeah, let’s keep it going. So not only does nobody respond and you need to go away, but when you go away, you got to do to yourself what everyone else does. You got to cut that off. You got to hide it. So not only does no one else see it, but you can actually see it in yourself. What’s the point of paying attention to it? Right. You want to distance yourself from that feeling.
Laurie Watson [00:20:34]:
Sure.
George Faller [00:20:35]:
Right.
Laurie Watson [00:20:35]:
Sure. Because it’s tough.
George Faller [00:20:38]:
So the more people don’t respond to it, the more you don’t respond to yourself, the more you continue to never have success with this feeling. Doesn’t it make sense why you keep trying to get further and further away from it? And the further and further you get away from it, the harder and harder it is to interrupt that loop. It happens so fast. So literally, when someone criticizes that other person’s already distanced themselves from their feelings, put up a walls, going away, and it’s hard to access. But the good news is they wouldn’t be doing all strategies if there wasn’t that vulnerability. And that’s the whole damn point of this episode. Like, if you slow down and you linger and you start to lean into these places, you leave, your body will perfectly start telling you what the problem is, and then that’s going to be the solution. That is the solution to start listening.
Laurie Watson [00:21:27]:
Okay, tough orders. Give us an example. Like, pretend you’re a withdrawer, and let’s see what happens inside.
George Faller [00:21:36]:
Nothing. What are you talking about, Laurie? I’m good. And I think that’s where you need to meet a withdrawal. Right in the place where they don’t have big emotions and they don’t want to have to take big risks. So you got to slowly start getting them into these emotions. Probably the most common mistake pursuers or therapists make is that they try to push too fast for vulnerability. You got to earn the right tool, which is vulnerability. And how you do that is through success in the little things, like how they protect themselves.
George Faller [00:22:12]:
Like, I make jokes. I try to focus on the positive. I deflect. I bring up other topics. Like, I have all these moves that are trying to regulate these emotions because I never have sex with the vulnerability underneath success. Or did I say sex?
Laurie Watson [00:22:25]:
You said sex.
George Faller [00:22:26]:
Oh, I’m slipping it in. This is a sex podcast, Laurie. Right.
Laurie Watson [00:22:30]:
It was good. It was like the best Freudian slip error.
George Faller [00:22:33]:
Right?
Laurie Watson [00:22:34]:
With that vulnerability.
George Faller [00:22:35]:
There you go.
Laurie Watson [00:22:36]:
Okay. Okay. So you get. You gotta do a live example here. So that. Because we’re asking the withdrawer to do it in their head, you know, to do this alone without prompts, we don’t want the pursuer to prompt them. The therapist is not prompting them. What I’m asking is how do they prompt themselves? And could you go through that with an example? Just an imaginary.
George Faller [00:22:57]:
Most important thing to do is I keep using criticism, because that’s a simple trick.
Laurie Watson [00:23:04]:
Okay, so somebody criticizes you.
George Faller [00:23:06]:
Somebody criticizes me. Right? That lands. It sticks. And my body’s sensitive. It’s scanning for messages. I’m failing. And sure enough, here comes the message. So anytime there’s a threat, there’s always a physiological response.
George Faller [00:23:21]:
There’s always something in the body. So really trying to slow down to get people to start listening. So for me, if I hear my wife say something critical, it’s usually like this, oh, feeling in my stomach, like, oh, I’m in trouble. I screwed up. I. I’m stupid. I shouldn’t have done that. Like, you know, it’s really like being a little kid, being told I’m.
George Faller [00:23:39]:
I’m in trouble, I did something wrong.
Laurie Watson [00:23:41]:
You’re little. You’re small, little kid. Your stomach hurts. So you’re. You’re aware of that. You’ve already done this work.
George Faller [00:23:48]:
You’re ready. You’re already listening to your body. You’re already going to your stomach and listening to that queasy feeling, and you’re trying to make meaning out of it, which is like, I’m in trouble again.
Laurie Watson [00:23:58]:
And I don’t like being in trouble.
George Faller [00:24:00]:
I don’t like being in trouble. So then I protect myself by trying to get away from that feeling. But if I get away from the feeling.
Laurie Watson [00:24:08]:
So how do you get. How do you protect yourself by getting away from that feeling?
George Faller [00:24:13]:
If I say, you know what, you’re just too much. You know, nobody can make you happy like that. Anger focusing on you gets me away from me.
Laurie Watson [00:24:20]:
Yeah.
George Faller [00:24:21]:
I don’t have to feel my own feelings when I’m focusing on how you’re really too much.
Laurie Watson [00:24:25]:
Yeah, I see.
George Faller [00:24:27]:
Which is a classic thing that witch horrors do. And that’s what I’m saying. They. They leave themselves. They fail to respond to their own vulnerability, just like their partner doesn’t respond to their vulnerability. It really is a. It’s math. They’ve had so little success with these feelings.
George Faller [00:24:42]:
No wonder why they don’t talk about it. They get blamed for something that’s not their fault. Yeah. So by even listening to your own feeling, you’re starting to face something you tend to walk away from. Right.
Laurie Watson [00:24:52]:
So if I’m listening to my situation, you’re maybe would blame back and say, well, you’re too much. And then you’re focusing more on that sick feeling inside your stomach, the small little boy. You’re like, okay, it’s all about you. It’s all your problem.
George Faller [00:25:09]:
Yeah.
Laurie Watson [00:25:10]:
Then what is the. What do we want them to do?
George Faller [00:25:13]:
Well, trying to see the value. If they do that, the cost to them is again, another failure in emotion, another play time. They’re not going to be responded to. They deserve to be responded to too. Right. So that place where they feel like they’re failing, it’s pretty important. So they got to learn how to start to see the value of standing up for themselves. You know, to be able to say, hey, you know, when I work my butt off and I come home and the first thing I hear is not the nine things I’ve done right, the one thing that I do, they’re wrong.
George Faller [00:25:42]:
Like that feels bad. It makes me feel defeat, defeated. It makes me feel discouraged. It makes me feel helpless. Like I feel like I’m pushing this rock up the hill and here comes rolling right back down again. Like I. And some days I just want to give up. Like that’s my vulnerability that never I put words to.
Laurie Watson [00:26:01]:
And would there be other ways to respond to that boy part that is always in trouble? Like that kind of is triggered by this accusation or criticism from your wife.
George Faller [00:26:16]:
Yeah. I mean, if we listen to the fear, it’s also telling us, you know what we need. I need some reassurance. I need to be told I am good enough. I need to be told that you do want me, that I’m getting it right, that it’s okay to fail. We all come up short sometimes. Like, if I don’t listen to the fear, I’m never going to get to what I need to heal in those places. And that’s the root of the problem for which roars.
George Faller [00:26:38]:
They never get the antidote to the problem. And that’s what vulnerability is trying to give. So I have to listen to my own stomach that says, hey, I feel like I’m failing. I need to learn how to share it with you in a way that you’re going to give me success. I mean, if I’m going to share it and you’re just going to Say, well, it is your fault because you don’t try hard enough. It’s going to be more of the same and just going to kind of protect myself. So pursuers listening got to learn to see what it. What a risk this is for withdrawer to start talking about these, these emotions.
George Faller [00:27:06]:
And I’m sure whatever their experience is valid and true. But stay on mission. The mission here is them having success with these feelings they normally never talk about if they don’t have success. And even when you try to give them success, they’re not going to trust it. Right. Because they’ve never really done this before. So you got to be ready for that and just keep getting the reps to practice until the good news is they were made wanting help in these places. Their body has always wanted it.
George Faller [00:27:32]:
When they, when it’s safe enough and they start taking it in, it changes the game.
Laurie Watson [00:27:36]:
Yeah, sure. Right. We all, we all respond to that. The love that comes eventually, you know, we’re. We’re longing for it again.
George Faller [00:27:47]:
That’s. The longing is. We’re going to talk further in a couple more episodes about the longings in these places, but that we need to know. That’s the wisdom. If the impact is if we don’t listen to the places, we’re never going to get healed in these places. That’s what I want with yours to start saying, like, it might be counterintuitive to listen to these emotions, but if you learn to do it, you’re trying to do that for your partner, you’re trying to help them with those places, would it make sense you need that same help that when you get it, you don’t need to protect yourself by going away. Right. When fear can lead to connection, you don’t need to disconnect to feel safer.
George Faller [00:28:24]:
And that’s ultimately what we’re trying to get that limbic revision. I’m trying to get a withdrawer’s body to say, wait, the best way of dealing with this threat is not to leave, but to stay. Because when you stay, you get connection, you get help, you get seen, you get loved, you get told it’s going to be okay, it’s okay. If you fail, you start getting these messages that actually make your body feel better after. And then I want to go back to the stomach and say, hey, look at that stomach. Is it a little bit more relaxed? Is it starting to settle in? Does it feel a bit lighter? Like the stomach will tell the story of people’s success with their emotions.
Laurie Watson [00:28:57]:
Okay, so your wife criticizes you first you notice the feeling inside your body. That’s what we’re asking people to do next. We want them to maybe think a little bit about oh yeah, this is a familiar feeling. Where does this come from? Rather than doing the pushback with anger, we want them to use their real feelings about what they need. Right then.
George Faller [00:29:21]:
Yeah, they need to name, they need to make meaning out of not only where they feel it in their body, but how do they make sense of that feeling? I’m failing, I’m helpless. I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m coming up short. Or sometimes people go to negative view of self. I’m a failure. Right. I’m a loser, I’m stupid, I’m a problem child. Right. Whatever it is like these are the places we try to run away from but in running away from them we just guaranteed we’re always left alone there and we’re never going to heal being left alone there.
Laurie Watson [00:29:52]:
So it’s, it’s rather than being alone in that then that’s when we want them to ask their partner for what they do need.
George Faller [00:30:00]:
Yeah, they want to start off by letting that partner into what the place is like. And as their partner responds and they have success and more safety then we’re going to work to eventually the place of them asking for help.
Laurie Watson [00:30:13]:
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George Faller [00:30:33]:
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Laurie Watson [00:30:54]:
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George Faller [00:30:55]:
Great brands, great prices. That’s why you wreck. And then some of you listening. Then when they experience success on a predictable way, they develop what we call secure attachment. You still have problems in the world but you know when you have a problem that your partner has your back. So many withdrawals. Know their partner loves them but anytime they have a threat, they deal with it in isolation. It’s not the best.
George Faller [00:31:24]:
I do a lot of work with the military. We do better in times of threat when we could turn and we know people have our back. That’s when we do the best and that’s what we’re Trying to get withdrawers to experience in the emotional relationship, because, again, when they do that, it’s such a better relationship.
Laurie Watson [00:31:40]:
So true. And speaking of the military. Right. We know that people in the military that have secure attachment experience less trauma. They don’t have PTSD at the same rates. So secure attachment is magical in terms. And people outside the military, people make more money when they have secure attachment. There’s so many good things.
Laurie Watson [00:32:02]:
Okay, we get.
George Faller [00:32:03]:
The military is like a perfect example of withdrawers. I don’t use the word. I call them protectors. Right. Because they don’t withdraw in the military. But protectors get all this training to turn off their feelings, and thank God they do, because you need that to head towards bullets, to shut off some of these feelings. But they don’t get the help needed to turn those feelings back on in the safety of their own home and their relationships. And the research is crystal clear that when you can’t turn your feelings back on, you’re going to struggle.
George Faller [00:32:30]:
You’re going to struggle in relationships. You’re at risk for depression, suicide, you name it. We don’t do well in chronic isolation. And yet this is what a lot of aturers face. And that’s the cost that I’m, you know, we’re making our mission in life to stand up, to help with chores, to fight for withdrawals, to say, hey, why settle for a life of that? Just because your training told you to do that, you can have both, so.
Laurie Watson [00:32:53]:
Exactly. Okay. Thank you, G. That was wonderful. And thanks for listening, all of you.
George Faller [00:33:01]:
I don’t want to say keep it hot. I just want you to listen to those feelings.
Laurie Watson [00:33:05]:
Because withdrawers don’t like it hot, right?
George Faller [00:33:07]:
That’s right. Keep. Keep it warm. Keep it warm.
Laurie Watson [00:33:11]:
So some of you are interested in our work. We want to tell you where we are, what we’re doing. First thing is our couples retreat coming up in October. Right, George?
George Faller [00:33:20]:
October 4th. Yes. Online. This is a chance to just spend a little time with your partner. We guarantee you’re going to kind of come out of that training with more things to talk about sexually. Yep.
Laurie Watson [00:33:32]:
And we’ve got an early bird special right now, so take us up on it and join us for a day of talking about sex.
George Faller [00:33:38]:
And for therapists, we have two trainings coming up. We have one in September 18 to 20 in Las Vegas, where Lori and I will just be kind of brainstorming and really pushing the leading edges of kind of EFT and the sexual cycle. We’re excited about that. And then in January 23rd to 25th. We’re coming to Nashville in person to do three days of really kind of breaking down this process. And again, I think this should be mandatory for all therapists to just kind of have more confidence in knowing what to do and work with the sexual side. Michael.
Laurie Watson [00:34:11]:
Yeah, we’ve already had lots of signups for that. By the way, George, people are also taking advantage of that early bird special. You know, we want supervisors to come. We’re giving half off to the supervisors. So please join us so that we can kind of get on the same page and understand and develop EFT further. There’s going to be two days of lecture and exercises, and then a day maybe with a live and, you know, working on your tapes and your stuck places. And we’re gonna go down to the honky tonk and have dinner together and have some fun.
George Faller [00:34:45]:
Have some fun.
Laurie Watson [00:34:46]:
Have some fun. Yeehaw.
George Faller [00:34:47]:
Yeehaw. And for all you listeners, again, if you have a community, you want Laura and I to come out and give a specialized training on sex. And again, I think this is so important for anybody seeing couples. Then, you know, reach out to us and let’s continue to spread this message. Yeehaw. Call in your questions to the foreplay question. Voicemail. Dial 833 My4Play.
George Faller [00:35:11]:
That’s 833-MY, the number four play. And we’ll use the questions for our mailbag episodes. All content is for entertainment purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for therapy by a licensed clinician or as medical advice from a doctor. This podcast is copyrighted by Foreplay Media.
Laurie Watson [00:35:28]:
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