In today’s episode, join hosts Laurie and George as they uncover the ultimate move that creates lasting change in couples. The changemaker for a negative cycle is when the withdrawing partner is able to stay in their fear and uncover their unmet need. In the negative cycle the old move to sense the discomfort and move away immediately begins to be replaced with a new ability to tolerate and remain present. Staying in the fear, with your partner close at hand allows you to ask, “What do I need here? Can you help me with it?”
This new experience sends a message through the body and brain that this is now safe and we are rewarded with closeness and comfort where there was once isolation. We are not meant to be alone! George reminds withdrawers that you must risk if you want the reward. Our hosts role play, guides listeners in this meaningful conversation and reminds them, this is possible in your relationship!
Therapists–Join us in Nashville January 25-27th for our Sex and EFT training to help your couples with their negative sexual cycle.
Check out this episode’s sponsor and help support the podcast!
ForiaWellness.com/foreplay — great products to enhance your sex life!
Transcript
Laurie Watson [00:00:00]:
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Laurie Watson [00:00:52]:
Every holiday shopper’s got a list, but Ross shoppers? You’ve got a mission like a gift run that turns into a disco snow globe, throw pillows and PJs for the whole family.
George Faller [00:01:00]:
Dog included.
Laurie Watson [00:01:01]:
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Laurie Watson [00:01:34]:
Google is a trademark of Google LLC.
George Faller [00:01:37]:
The following content is not suitable for children.
Laurie Watson [00:01:39]:
Welcome to the school of love.
George Faller [00:01:41]:
Let’s do it. Our chance to break down the therapy process so you can do it at home without a therapist. Here we go, Laurie. The Hollywood ending. Disneyland. This is it.
Laurie Watson [00:01:54]:
And love the Hollywood endings. This is the way we make couples happy.
George Faller [00:01:58]:
So if you’re falling asleep, listeners, wake up here. This is going to be a great episode.
Laurie Watson [00:02:02]:
Yahoo. Welcome to Foreplay sex therapy. I’m Dr. Lori Watson, your sex therapist.
George Faller [00:02:10]:
And I’m George Fowler, your couples therapist.
Laurie Watson [00:02:13]:
We are here to talk about sex.
George Faller [00:02:15]:
Our mission is to help couples talk about sex in ways that incorporate their body, their mind and their hearts.
Laurie Watson [00:02:23]:
And we have a little bit of fun doing it right G Listen and.
George Faller [00:02:26]:
Let’S change some relationships.
Laurie Watson [00:02:28]:
I’d just like to remind the therapist that we have a training in January in Nashville. Yee ha.
George Faller [00:02:35]:
Yee haw.
Laurie Watson [00:02:36]:
Have fun. We’re going to go to Honky Tonks and a meal out and we’re going to see George dance.
George Faller [00:02:43]:
Cowboy dance. Yeah, here we go.
Laurie Watson [00:02:45]:
Cowboy dance. We’re going to, we’re going to wear our cowboy boots in Nashville January about the 25th through the 27th. We’re doing three day training. And again, we can’t do this without you. Thank you so much for your patron support for us on Patreon.com if you would like to support us, you find it on fourplaysextherapy.com and we just appreciate all of you who have given to us over the years. We’re very excited right now. We’re writing a book and that helps us find a little bit of time to do that, to get this message and this mission out to the world. So this is one way that we’re trying to help heal couples in their emotional and sexual cycle.
Laurie Watson [00:03:25]:
And that’s going to be a further way to do it.
George Faller [00:03:27]:
I like it. Let’s do it, Lori. Okay, thank you everyone.
Laurie Watson [00:03:31]:
Thank you. So how can we help right now? Get to the Hollywood moment where couples have been following us in school, doing all the steps, trying to listen to each other, heal each other, and now this is the moment that we’re getting to where they’re going to be really, really vulnerable and it kind of changes your life.
George Faller [00:03:52]:
Yeah. Well, let’s put it in perspective where we are at this point, right? And in the beginning you gotta understand the good reasons you have negative moves that form patterns, right? These withdrawals, they have good reasons to go away because every time they stay engaged, they’re getting messages, they’re failing. It’s a failure in co regulation. Like it’s a, it’s a yellow brain way of trying to kind of survive while you’re still trying to fight for your relationship. You’re just trying to survive the disconnection that happens. So withdrawers are pursuers, are getting their cycle and they’re starting to de escalate. So you need that to happen. That’s happening.
George Faller [00:04:28]:
And now you got these withdrawals starting to see the value of trying to listen to these parts of themselves that they tend to hide. They start to feel right before they go away, they’re feeling like a failure or they’re feeling helpless, they don’t know what to do. And you know, they feel like they’re letting their partner down or they feel ineffective or weak or, you know, all these pretty nasty feelings that they never talk about. So we’ve been giving them practice talking about that. And the good news is when they talk about it and their partner, the pursuer can keep the focus on them and give them success. It’s like these negative places get discharged from the body, right? It’s like I feel like I fail you. I feel out of my stomach. I always keep it to myself.
George Faller [00:05:07]:
Now I take this risk. I let you into it. You love me and feel moved and give me a hug and all of a sudden my stomach starts to relax.
Laurie Watson [00:05:14]:
Right? Right.
George Faller [00:05:16]:
And a lot of people think, that’s it, we’re done. Right? We were able to talk about these vulnerable places, but here’s the next big. Here’s the trick Disney ending that’s so important. Right? In a step seven, we’re going into these places of fear. We’re going into these places where we feel it in our body. And not only are we listening to that, but actually we’re going to linger in this place to try to figure out what we need. What’s the longing in that place of fear? Right. Every fear and every hurt at every ouch has a longing, a want and a need.
George Faller [00:05:51]:
But it’s never safe to talk about it. So most people don’t know it.
Laurie Watson [00:05:55]:
Yeah. This is such good news because I think we’re afraid to go to these dark places. You know, it feels like a dead end to us. But the truth is, underneath all of that difficulty and fear and rejection is there’s something that will help. And usually something that our partner can give us that will help. I was working with a couple yesterday and, you know, they were sort of in this, both of them in difficult places, you know, but they’re. They’re really great people and they. They’ve already done a ton of work.
Laurie Watson [00:06:31]:
So we were just able to figure out what can they ask for from each other that makes it better. So underneath all of that turmoil and overwhelm and upset, you know, and feelings of desperation, there were things that they could ask for that. And what was so cool is they both felt better by the end of the session. It was.
George Faller [00:06:54]:
Beautiful. What I really love about the simple elegance of Sue Johnson’s model eft, right, Is what is a negative cycle in its simplicity? It’s unmet needs. People can’t ask for this because they don’t feel safe, so they have to protect themselves. And how they protect themselves creates a cycle with their partner that starts to take on a life of its own. If we could identify what’s not working, a negative cycle, unmet needs. The solution to that, the positive cycle, is unmet needs met. Right. And this is the doorway through which we do this.
George Faller [00:07:30]:
Right? We got to bring people back into that pain and they actually got to listen to what their heart would want in this place that would help. And for most people, they are not going to know the answer to this question. That’s good news. That means you’ve never, you don’t know this part of yourself. Right. But when you are able to access it and you’re able to ask and your partner is able to give it to you and you’re able to receive it and take it in, you have a secure emotional bond. I don’t have to guess. They will show me with that move in my office.
George Faller [00:07:59]:
Right. So this is always the marker I’m looking for as a therapist that a couple, you know, we all fall back into negative cycles. But you now know how to repair, you know, now know how to create a positive cycle from this place.
Laurie Watson [00:08:12]:
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Laurie Watson [00:09:26]:
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George Faller [00:09:29]:
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Laurie Watson [00:10:00]:
When it’s a positive cycle, I think what’s so encouraging is it’s not actually fragile because we’ve gotten there systematically, and so we’ve done all the things that create a forward motion for couples. We don’t. After we reach this place, we don’t as easily fall back into the negative cycle because there’s a better way, and our brain knows there’s a better way. It’s more efficient to act like this, to behave like this, to connect with our partner like this. And so our brain helps us remember. We don’t. Once you do this, I think this is the brilliance of this whole move, is once you do feels different in your body. And we tend to do things that feel good in our body, you know, so it’s like your body remembers.
Laurie Watson [00:10:45]:
You don’t have to know all the steps and figure it out. It’s just like you. You have to do this once or twice, and then pretty soon your body helps you lean towards your partner in ways that are vulnerable and ask.
George Faller [00:10:58]:
Exactly. We call that a limbic revision. Right. The body has to learn a new muscle memory, and that’s how you do it. You got to bring people into the emotion so they experience a different outcome. If. Whenever I feel like a failure, I deal with that emotion by going away. Now I’m listening to it, I’m sitting in it, and I’m asking for help.
George Faller [00:11:17]:
And when my partner helps me in a place I’ve never gotten it, my body experiences connection where it usually feels isolation. And it’s like the brain’s like, what is this? Like it is. It rewires the brain. That’s the power of a corrective emotional experience. I love that you’re highlighting that, Laurie. We’re not just trying to problem solve, give people new information. They actually literally have to create new neural pathways that says, hey, there’s a better way of dealing with this threat than your old move going away, this new move of asking for help because you’ve done all this work and built all this trust, and your partner wants to love you in a place no one has ever loved you before. Boom.
George Faller [00:11:56]:
This is a game changer, right? It’s a big deal.
Laurie Watson [00:11:59]:
It’s a game changer. I love that.
George Faller [00:12:02]:
It’s a big deal.
Laurie Watson [00:12:04]:
Yeah, it’s a big deal. You know, and it’s a struggle to do this, right? It’s a struggle, but it’s so worth it.
George Faller [00:12:12]:
No, I appreciate you saying the struggle because There is nothing more vulnerable on this planet than to take your worst fears literally. It’s like taking your heart and handing it over to your partner and saying, my worst fear is that I’m broken, I’m defective. Right. I don’t even like me in this place. No one has ever liked me. Like, they like the me that’s successful and has answers, but no one likes this part of me. Most therapies do this way too early. What do you need? And which Aurora say, what do I need? I need less criticism.
George Faller [00:12:40]:
I need less of a negative. You’re going to see when we role play. This is very different than saying stop with the criticism. This is going to the longings and wants, which is a whole different ballgame. But Laurie’s so right, like, you don’t want to set this up unless there’s a lot of safety, there’s a lot of goodwill. Right. There’s, there’s deposits in the bank that people have had success. Right.
George Faller [00:13:01]:
Because this is the ultimate risk. And we don’t want to set this up unless we’re really confident that the partner can keep the focus on the withdrawal and is going to be able to respond.
Laurie Watson [00:13:11]:
Right. And today we’re going to work on the emotional risks. Next week we’re going to work on the sexual risks.
George Faller [00:13:17]:
Exactly.
Laurie Watson [00:13:17]:
Because that’s a little trickier too.
George Faller [00:13:19]:
It’s a little trickier. So we want to see that they get their cycle. We want to see the withdrawal can talk about their fears and tolerate it. We want to see that the pursuer is able to keep the focus on the withdrawal and wants to be the person who helps them. This place nobody has when we could access these places. And I responded to, we have more life, we have more vitality. Right. Instead of the isolation that so many withdrawals have waiting for them all the time.
Laurie Watson [00:13:44]:
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Ah, George. So we’re going to have to role play this just so that we can show what it looks like.
George Faller [00:13:53]:
We will. And hopefully you’ll see in the role play that this ask needs to be from the present moment.
Laurie Watson [00:14:02]:
Right.
George Faller [00:14:02]:
A lot of times withdrawals will say, well, next time I feel like this, or I used to feel that way. Like, no, right here, right now. It doesn’t take that much to tap into feeling like a failure. It’s the driving threat that’s kind of raw spot that’s triggered so often. So I want to see as a therapist that that’s online that it’s in the room that they’re listening. You need to fear alive for the Longing to be alive. If you’re just going to just talk about it hypothetically, you’re going to get hypothetical answers to this. But we really want you to listen to your own body because it’s so wise.
George Faller [00:14:34]:
And the emotions not only tell us the problem, they tell us the solution, but you have to sit in the problem long enough to listen to. And a lot of people don’t trust that, and they shouldn’t. But again, we wouldn’t be doing this work if we didn’t have a lot of confidence that there’s always a longing. And when you can get that longing met. Right. Why would you need to protect yourself the other way?
Laurie Watson [00:14:54]:
Yeah. And it’s, I mean, what you’re saying is when we’re doing it in process, that’s when the longing gets revealed. It’s like when you’re actually sitting in it. And this is so kind of therapy, voodoo, mysterious kind of stuff. It’s like, what do you mean? I’m going to go into a conversation where I’m not going to even know what I’m supposed to do. I think that that’s scary.
George Faller [00:15:18]:
Sure.
Laurie Watson [00:15:18]:
It’s really submitting to a process. And in that process, if you can like hold the difficulty, the tension inside yourself for just a little bit. What we see happens every day in our rooms is that people get a hold of what will make it feel better, what the longing is, what they need from their partner, what they need reassurance from. And you know that that heals them. And so we’re sort of saying to the withdrawer who doesn’t like doing this in the first place, you’re about to go into a difficult conversation where you’re not going to know what to do. Oh, boy.
George Faller [00:16:00]:
Yep. And we have that famous saying, no risking, no getting. Right.
Laurie Watson [00:16:07]:
No risky, no getting the solutions in this.
George Faller [00:16:09]:
And by this point, which Aurora has had lots of practice, touching the fear, sharing the fear and having that partner respond. So they’ve, you know, they’ve gotten a lot of reps here. They’ve just never asked for help here. And that’s going to be what we’re going to do now. So let’s come back.
Laurie Watson [00:16:29]:
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Laurie Watson [00:17:02]:
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Laurie Watson [00:17:40]:
You will thank me later.
George Faller [00:17:46]:
All right, Lori, so here it is. I guess you’ll be the witcher or I’ll be the pursuer.
Laurie Watson [00:17:50]:
Oh, okay.
George Faller [00:17:51]:
I have to put it my time to be the witcher here.
Laurie Watson [00:17:56]:
Thank you.
George Faller [00:17:56]:
We’ll take Laurie off the spot here.
Laurie Watson [00:18:00]:
I’m such a good withdrawer.
George Faller [00:18:02]:
All right, so. And remember where I am in the process. You know, we talk as therapists. It is going to take 30, 40 sessions. Right. So there are 20 sessions in getting some practice talking about this. So it’s not like I’ve never put words to my fears. I can do that.
George Faller [00:18:20]:
I just never put words to my longing. So I’m probably not going to know what that is. But Lori’s going to hang out there with me and we’re going to figure it out together. So imagine we’re having this conversation alone. We’re having this conversation at, like a hold me tight weekend, or we’re having this conversation with a therapist. I mean, there are different settings where you could do it, but it’s the same conversation. So we just pretend the two of us are kind of at home and, you know, we’re having this conversation. How does that sound, Laurie?
Laurie Watson [00:18:46]:
That sounds good. And it’s. It’s. It’s a good night.
George Faller [00:18:49]:
It’s a good night.
Laurie Watson [00:18:50]:
It’s a good night.
George Faller [00:18:51]:
It’s a good night.
Laurie Watson [00:18:51]:
Okay.
George Faller [00:18:52]:
The Pursuit to Get Emotional Engagement. All right. So are we Joey and Janie?
Laurie Watson [00:18:58]:
We’re Joey and Janie.
George Faller [00:19:00]:
All right.
Laurie Watson [00:19:00]:
Okay. So you’re gonna.
George Faller [00:19:03]:
Yeah.
Laurie Watson [00:19:04]:
Start us off, right? What. What’s been happening?
George Faller [00:19:07]:
Yeah. You know, reading that hold me tight book with you. And this is. We’re up to this spot where, you know, I feel like I do know what it. Right before I go away. I feel like I’m failing and I’m disappointing you and I’m in trouble and I’ve Done something wrong. And, like, I just never have talked about that feeling. Like, whenever I feel that, even now, I can feel out of my stomach.
George Faller [00:19:37]:
It’s like I just want to get away from it. I just want to. And when I get away, I feel calmer, more relaxed. And I know it pisses you off, but, like, I don’t know what the heck to do with that. And I do feel like I’m getting a little bit better at kind of understanding how often I get hit with that message. I mean, a lot of times you don’t even mean it, like. And I just so in scanning for that all the time, and, you know, I. I feel more confident that when I’m feeling bad, and I do share that, like, you don’t want me to feel that way.
George Faller [00:20:06]:
You want to reassure and comfort me. And that does mean a lot.
Laurie Watson [00:20:10]:
And even you talking about it right now, just. I don’t like you in the bad place. But it feels so good that you’re talking about the bad place and what you go through. And you’re right. Sometimes I don’t mean it, and probably sometimes I do trigger it with criticism or upset, but I do feel like we’re changing, like, we’re getting there. And I’m glad you’re thinking about these things and glad you’re doing the hold me tight weekend with me. That’s awesome.
George Faller [00:20:37]:
Yeah. I mean, it’s still hard to believe that, like, feeling bad with you is much better than feeling bad by myself. Like, my whole life, I was just thought it was better to be by myself. And I’m starting to recognize. No, it actually does feel better. Like, how my body feels when you’re, like, with me in that place than being alone. And that’s been pretty cool.
Laurie Watson [00:21:02]:
Yeah. That’s good. And I’m learning to just not try to fix it all for you, just to be there with you. And, you know, it’s funny because it feels like less work than what I used to do.
George Faller [00:21:18]:
Yeah. And then I. Well, I read that next step was like. Like, what do I need? I mean, I like when you give me a hug. That always helps. But, like, even when I first read that, what do I need in this place when I’m feeling like a failure? I’m like, I have no idea. I just need you to stop being critical. That would help.
George Faller [00:21:36]:
Like, I don’t even know what would help me in that place. I know the. The comfort has helped, and, like, you’re hugging me in that place has helped, but I. Like, I don’t really Know, and that’s been surprising. I’m like, so I’ve been sitting with that more, and I’m just listening to my stomach. I’m like, what do I need? And, yeah, it’s just a hard place to figure out.
Laurie Watson [00:21:59]:
And I’m. I’m right there for you, man. I. I want to hug you. I want to meet whatever need comes up for you. Like, I mean, sometimes you get into this place, you see yourself, you know, in. In a really dark way, and. I don’t know.
Laurie Watson [00:22:21]:
I wish I could offer you something.
George Faller [00:22:23]:
Yeah, I mean, I. That’s the thing. It’s like, deep down, when I fail, there is a part of me that thinks I’m a failure. Like, I don’t really deserve love in this place. Like, I should be left alone. I kind of should be punished for what I’m doing, and if I can kind of correct myself, I can earn that love again. Like, that’s kind of what I try to do. So, Yeah, I don’t know.
George Faller [00:22:48]:
I guess if I’m listening to my own stomach, it’s like, I wish it wasn’t that way. I wish I could. I wish you could love me in the places I don’t love myself. I wish. I guess I wish you could tell me that even if I do fail, you still love me. I don’t deserve to be left alone.
Laurie Watson [00:23:09]:
You so don’t. And I so do love you. And I. You know, it’s not about you failing or succeeding. It’s. It’s who you are. It’s like, you’re important to me. You know, you’re.
Laurie Watson [00:23:22]:
You’re my partner. You’re everything to me. I. I do love you. This. You know, and it. And it’s. It’s like who you are is so important to me.
Laurie Watson [00:23:33]:
I don’t see you as a failure. I don’t even. The failing part, I don’t even see that. I see you trying so hard, and. And the thought that you begin to feel like a failure, it’s like, honey, you know, I. I see your heart, you know, you’re so good. You’re not a failure.
George Faller [00:23:57]:
Well, that feels good. It’s hard to trust some of that, right? But I feel like. I mean, nobody has really loved me here. I know I don’t really love myself, but I can feel some of that warmth coming into my stomach right now as I’m like, well, I. I do believe you when you say that you don’t really care if I fail. It’s not like you’re not gonna stop loving Me, like, I. But I. It’s just hard for me to.
George Faller [00:24:23]:
To believe that. But that feels like a gift. I feel like I can feel myself, like, feeling more relaxed and, like, just take some pressure off that. You know? Even if I do feel like it’s not the end of the world. If you say it, it’s. You’re not gonna walk away from me, that it actually come closer.
Laurie Watson [00:24:42]:
I want to. And. And I. It makes so much sense that, you know, it’s hard to take in. I knew how you grew up and. And all the struggles of that family, so I get it.
George Faller [00:24:56]:
Yeah.
Laurie Watson [00:24:56]:
Why it would be hard to trust me in this way. You know, I. I’m going to keep coming, though. I do love you. And I’m going to keep loving you even when it’s hard for you to take it in.
George Faller [00:25:08]:
I need that. I need your love to be a little stronger than mine because I don’t have a lot for me in this place.
Laurie Watson [00:25:14]:
I know.
George Faller [00:25:15]:
And it really touched me, you know, last time when you talked about, you know, our son and how I wouldn’t want him to be in this place alone. And I would do anything to. To love him. Even if he comes up short like that. We all come up short. And, like, I am starting to see, like, I deserve that love too. And I do feel like that’s a big shift in me.
Laurie Watson [00:25:36]:
I know. I know. And I. I know how you would be with him and what you would want him to feel, and that’s what I want you to feel. I feel the same way. You know, I want you to know I’m coming for you. I’m there for you. I love you.
Laurie Watson [00:25:53]:
You’re important. And it isn’t what you do. And I see you as so valuable. So valuable to me. You’re my everything.
George Faller [00:26:05]:
Wow. You’d see the smile on my face. I normally don’t smile in this place. Right. I’m normally running away to just know that I could actually ask for your help. Just to say, hey, can you. Can you just love me? Can you.
Laurie Watson [00:26:22]:
I know.
George Faller [00:26:22]:
Affirm me. Can you? Right. I do want to be free of the oppression of this place. And being able to kind of ask for your help. I can just feel lighter right now.
Laurie Watson [00:26:34]:
Yeah. And it just makes me feel so good that you would ask. That you would need me in some way is so great. It makes me feel more connected. Like, yeah, you need me. And I sure need you, too.
George Faller [00:26:49]:
Pretty cool. Thank you.
Laurie Watson [00:26:51]:
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George Faller [00:27:03]:
A bold cranberry and winter spice flavor fusion Sprite.
Laurie Watson [00:27:07]:
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George Faller [00:27:14]:
Sprite.
Laurie Watson [00:27:15]:
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George Faller [00:27:48]:
All right.
Laurie Watson [00:27:49]:
Okay. Okay.
George Faller [00:27:50]:
Here we go.
Laurie Watson [00:27:51]:
That was a good. That was a good positive cycle.
George Faller [00:27:55]:
Yeah. Good positive cycle. I can feel my shift from feeling the nauseousness of my stomach, which I always deal with alone, to letting you in to ask him for what it needs, which is just some reassurance and some love. And you’ve given it to me, and all of a sudden the world changes a bit.
Laurie Watson [00:28:14]:
That’s nice, right?
George Faller [00:28:16]:
That’s the want. There’s always a want in the negative place of hurt, right? And you can see how when jurors can do this, right, they’re always going to return back to retreating some of the time. But it gets a lot easier to repair because it’s the same conversation. So imagine a week later, we get into the negative cycle that I come back and I say, laura, you know, I’m sorry I walked away, but it’s still hard to talk about that place. My stomach. And it just. I went back to my old move. But I really do need that same thing, which is it’s hard to trust.
George Faller [00:28:47]:
But can you tell me it’s okay if I fail? Like, you don’t hate me or despise me. You only love me when I’m getting it right that you still love me in this place. And boom, now I just get another practice, more of a chance of asking for help. In this place. Asking for help is the antidote to.
Laurie Watson [00:29:02]:
The negative cycle and such. So opposite of what withdraws have learned growing up, right, to protect themselves, to be independent, to never need. And then they go ahead and ask. And the good thing is, is their partner’s ready for them and wants to help, wants to give them love, wants to see them through the eyes of love.
George Faller [00:29:26]:
Yeah. And folder with drawers. Listen, this is not a sign of weakness. I mean, this is how humans Are made that in places of struggle, we do better with people we love that have our back. You know, when I work with the military or firefighters or police officers, like that’s what allows you to run towards bullets you’re doing with other people. You know, other people have your back like that. That needing of others is in. In all of us.
George Faller [00:29:49]:
It’s our greatest strength. It’s not a weakness. So if you have a partner who loves you, who can be there for you in these places, why not access that as a resource to protect your partner and to protect yourself? Just leaves both of you alone. And this is not just a win for the withdrawals. I mean, the pursuer gets to be the one person on the planet that delivers in a spot no one else has. That feels pretty damn good. It’s a gift where both people win.
Laurie Watson [00:30:13]:
Yeah, it really feels good. I mean, it strengthens. Just from my perspective, playing this role play, you know, it’s. It’s a bond. It’s like, oh, I’m important too, because I can. I’m needed by my partner and I can. I can meet that need. And so suddenly we’re stronger together.
George Faller [00:30:34]:
Amen.
Laurie Watson [00:30:35]:
Not only is he not alone, but I’m not alone either. It’s like he needs me.
George Faller [00:30:39]:
Absolutely. So here we are. This is a hard conversation, but even if you come up short, you’re starting to get reps trying to listen to these places that most of us go through cruise control and never pay attention to. If you don’t listen to your longings, it’s really hard to have a positive cycle. So have faith, people.
Laurie Watson [00:30:58]:
That’s right. And this is the withdrawers opportunity to come forward to start an important conversation. We know it’s going to be tough to sit in those bad feelings, but we have faith that what you need will come to you. And then risking asking your partner for it.
George Faller [00:31:18]:
And you deserve that. You deserve help in these places.
Laurie Watson [00:31:23]:
That’s right. Thanks for listening.
George Faller [00:31:25]:
Keep it hot, y’. All.
Laurie Watson [00:31:26]:
So some of you are interested in our work. We want to tell you where we are, what we’re doing.
George Faller [00:31:31]:
In January 23rd to 25th, we’re coming to Nashville in person to do three days of really kind of breaking down this process. And again, I think this should be mandatory for all therapists to just kind of have more confidence in knowing what to do and work with the sexual cycle.
Laurie Watson [00:31:46]:
Yeah, we’ve already had lots of signups for that. By the way, George, people are also taking advantage of that early bird special. You know, we want supervisors to come we’re giving half off to the supervisors. So please join us so that we can kind of get on the same page and understand and develop eft further. There’s going to be two days of lecture and exercises and then a day maybe with a lot live and, you know, working on your tapes and your stuck places. And we’re gonna go down to the Honky Tonk and have dinner together and have some fun.
George Faller [00:32:20]:
Have some fun.
Laurie Watson [00:32:21]:
Have some fun. Yeehaw.
George Faller [00:32:23]:
Yeehaw. And for all you listeners, again, if, if you have a community and you want Laura and I to come out and give a specialized training on sex, and again, I think this is so important for anybody seeing couples, then, you know, reach out to us and let’s continue to spread this message. Yeehaw. Call in your questions to the four play question. Voicemail. Dial 833-MY-4 PLAY. That’s 833-MY-THE- NUMBER-OUR PLAY and we’ll use the questions for our mailbag episodes all content is for entertainment purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for therapy by a licensed clinician or as medical advice from a doctor. This podcast is copyrighted by Foreplay Media.
Laurie Watson [00:33:03]:
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Laurie Watson [00:34:19]:
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